Optimum Prime(r): Releasing the Jackhammer Inside Your Cuddly Widdle Bunny
For some bizarre reason, Athol Kay’s April Fool’s Day post was about the release of his book on Amazon. However, there was no foolin’ as the book really was released. Shortly thereafter, I received my copy in the mail. Shortly after that, I gave away my copy and received a PDF replacement.
I was planning to hold off on my review till I had an anecdote or two to share from the gifted copy, but I’ve now realized that might take time, so I’m offering my $.02 now.
For readers of the Athol’s blog, the Primer doesn’t cover a ton of new territory. Instead, it’s a concise presentation of the information held within the site, with the requisite editing and logical flow of a book. It starts with the science of attraction, then moves onto the alpha/beta dichotomy, sex rank, and preselection. Once these basics are explained, Athol offers the male action plan or MAP. The MAP includes information on fitness, boosting testosterone levels, and hygiene. From there, it’s all about applying the knowledge to one’s own relationship.
Don’t be fooled, though, as the remainder of the book, from the descriptions of the appropriate Captain/First Officer hierarchy of successful relationships to maintaining variety to getting one’s wife to unleash her inner slut to Athol’s infamous “Sexy Moves,” covers territory relevant to all manner of relationships. In other words, Athol does not give men clues for entering the marathon without offering strategies for continuing in the race.
For those who are not interested in dopamine and oxytocin, the early portions dealing with science may not be of interest. For others, who doubt the lofty numbers that Athol throws out in evidence of his own prowess, I say that the numbers aren’t that important. Even if the Primer is not 100% factually true, it is still theologically true. For example, I challenge couples to try the first of Athols’ Sexy Moves – The Ten Second Kiss:
It’s easy to get in the friendly roommate rut and stop being passionate lovers. The friendly roommate road just leads to bad sex at best, but more likely affairs and divorce. The Ten Second Kiss brings back that feeling of romance and passion. Ten seconds is actually quite a long time to kiss someone, especially if your intimacy has been cut down to 0.1 second pecks in passing. Peck, peck, peck. It’s like you’re eight years old and trying to evade the ugly aunt who tastes like cigarettes, “Come kiss your auntie! MUAH!”
. . .
If the routine is new to her, just walk up to her and say… “It’s being so long since we kissed. I mean really, really kissed. I want to kiss for ten seconds, but I do have one rule…”
She’s pretty much forced to ask, “What’s that?”
Then you say, and it’s very important you do this with a cocky smile, keeping it light and fun as possible, “You have to pretend to like it.”
. . .
What you will find is that somewhere around the six second mark, her shields come down and she will become quite passionate about the interaction. All those 0.1 second “peck” kisses are simply social in nature. The romantic biological hormonal kick-in from kissing doesn’t happen until at least five seconds, so that’s why you’ve got to hold the kiss.
I’m a fan of the ten second kiss, though I did not learn it from the book. Long, passionate kisses, in the morning before work, but after the teeth have been brushed, or while the kids are still awake and ambling about, lights a fire in your woman’s loins. A few of those a day and she’ll be duct taping the kids in bed early, throwing on some lingerie, and dragging you to bed before the sun goes down. You as a man will not be immune either. You’ll find yourself strong like bull as soon as the opportunity presents itself.
The other big selling point for the Primer is that it’s presented in a way that does not get rationalization hamster’s (covered in detail in Chapter 1) wheel turning. Your wife can read the Primer and come away wanting to be your first mate. Though you’re in charge of this ship, you cannot successfully navigate the frothy waters if your would-be first mate is actively planning mutiny.
Penelope, who was actually the courier for the given copy, started reading it. She quickly became engrossed and mentioned that we needed a copy for ourselves. “I have a PDF.” “Yeah, but can we order the paperback?”
I started blogging about relationships, and whatever other random bits of personal history and political diatribes that suited my fancy, around the same time as Athol. My original goal was to add another married voice to the choir. However, it quickly morphed into something else. The more I thought about what I was doing right and wrong, the better I got at the correct parts and the easier life in general got. I’ll concede I started from a good position. For example, when we married, Penelope took my last name. Her twin did not take her husband’s name. I couldn’t remember the circumstances and asked Penelope what motivated her. “You just told me we weren’t getting married if I didn’t take your name.”
But as I progressed, I found that I could not only influence my life subtly, I could also influence it overtly. These days, Penelope is disgusted when she sees a chomper berate her man in public or ignore his proclamations. She says things, without any prompting, such as, “You are the leader of the household and I like deferring to your judgment. It makes my life easier.” Part of it is that blogging can be its own reward, but the other part is that actively thinking about why you’re doing something, and repeating it when that something is productive, ingrains it in the relationship.
You don’t have to start a blog, though. You can just internalize the book. To trot out a tired cliché, you can fake it till you make it. Then, when Athol releases part two, you’re charged with writing a review, and you receive an email asking, “So what about that review?” you can think to yourself, “Damn, man, I’ve been busy being naked and the wife’s head isn’t flat enough for me to balance a laptop on it.”
Thanks!
*dramatic sigh*
Any book on relationships that a woman likes should be instantly suspect, just as any relationship advice a woman gives is almost always invariably 180 degrees wrong.
And the absurd “numbers” do matter.
The red pill is about truth, not telling new lies to replace the old ones.
These statements set up huge false expectations that just follow these rules and life will be wonderful and you will have sex every day, despite children, relatives, travel, hectic work schedules, sickness, the woman’s period (I could go on).
What gets reward in our society is selling people what they want to hear, I’m sure athol will make a fair amount of money on this, but my gut tells me that the denoument will be eye opening.
Fair enough, though I expected a gloves-off comment instead of a measured one. You’re letting me down, CL!
That the book, contrary to what would readily be expected from Athol’s blog, doesn’t promise a magic bullet is my quibble with your comment. It’s predicated on strengthening a relationship in which both partners, even if one is starting to use his or her eyes more, would prefer to remain together. Athol does mention that there are times to bail. Also, even though he frequently mentions his own lofty, and I’ll admit unbelievable, copulation count, he doesn’t promise that reading it will generate similar numbers. Of course, Athol being adept at self-marketing, that is a tacit implication of expected results, so I’ll agree that you have a point. However, I think Athol’s actual market diverges somewhat from his expected target market. Guys like Simon are the true beneficiaries. As to the realities of pairing with many modern women, there is a risk that cannot be mitigated, even if the system is destroyed and rebuilt. We didn’t get to where we are now from a starting point of chaos; entropy is immutable and she is a harsh mistress.