Penelope and the Huckster – Updated
Penelope’s job has been rather stressful lately. The short, light on identifying details version is that a man with whom her organization had an agreement turned out to be a huckster. Her organization severed ties with this dude, he ignored the communication regarding such, and has since been bothering Penelope with pleas of, “What’s going on? I tried to call X and they said they were partnering with a new Y.”
Penelope never really trusted the dude and wanted to go with a local option, but her boss has a personal disagreement with the local and Penelope was overridden. Even though the decision wasn’t hers, it was still her project. Everything mostly turned out; the only failings were behind the scenes. The plan was to move forward for next year, as it’s an annual event, in a different direction, sans huckster, and chalk it up to experience. But Penelope is a woman, so she stewed, even when it seemed that the worst was behind her.
Then the aforementioned calls started. The people huckster was calling started calling Penelope. Her stewing reached a boil. She started freaking. Lawyers were brought in.
Meanwhile, over the weekend, we discussed leadership in the household. She didn’t necessarily disagree with my assessments on the need for patriarchy, but she didn’t outright agree either. She asked what happens when there’s an alpha female. I said, “divorce.” The rational part of her brain was not persuaded that a strong man as head of household is the key to overall family happiness.
On Monday, the lawyers and huckster situation escalated. On Tuesday, I received an email with the subject line, “day from hell.”
Lots of legal stuff going on with *********. It’s getting really ugly. My nightmares are coming true. I’m nauseous and completely stressed out over this. Before it’s all said and done, I think I will be in therapy or on Prozac or both.
I replied:
You tried to sever ties with the dude and it’s not your personal situation. Just ignore him.
Penelope responded:
That’s what our attorney told me to do.
Ok. Since you said it. I will ignore him.
Love you,
Even if the rational part of the mind doesn’t want to admit that a strong man who is head of the household increases happiness, the results speak for themselves. Leadership is the Colt 45 of the household. It beats lawyers. Put on your Billy Dee Williams voice and be the Colt 45 of your household. It works every time.
UPDATE: For those who didn’t grow up in areas in which malt liquor commercials were ubiquitous.
Interesting to see the corporate side of your Penelope and how she needs you. My wife is a strong, outspoken person in the corporate world, and she can handle herself just fine, so when she calls me for advice with a decision or problem, I always tell it to her straight.
I love how Penelope didn’t listen to the attorney, but she listened to you. Good stuff.
As a reader of your blog I especially enjoy your poetic nature as we are similar souls in that respect (after all you turned me on to the Steve McQueen of poets, E. E. Cummings), but I didn’t even know that your wife had a career. So it really piqued my interest to read about your debate about leadership in your marriage. I face a similar struggle myself. Our marriage is often too equal and therefore a perpetual power struggle. I would be very interested in your experiences in this realm. Other bloggers like Athol seem to be gifted enough to be married to completely submissive women and there is no one talking about how to maintain a successful marriage to a (feminist influenced) woman who rationally thinks she wants equality even though that’s not how things play out all the time in the relationship.
[That's a good suggestion and I'm going to run with it, though I have to admit this post probably misstates Penelope's wants. Penelope has been influenced by feminism, but she doesn't consider herself a feminist nor does she demand artificial equality. Nevertheless, as you know, having two people who work increases the difficulty with maintaining a household and two incomes somewhat precludes having one person who is the automatic authority. Stay tuned. (Her alpha question wasn't about herself, though, it was about a friend whose marriage is not going well. I'm not going to be able to personally speak to that angle, though I should be able to provide some anecdotal contrast.)]