Rub Some Alpha on your Beta Behaviors. Do it for the Tingles. Won’t Someone Please Think of the Tingles!

The shorthand that many present is that masculinity leaves no room for domesticated actions. This shorthand is fallacious and can short you right out of fellatio. Married men can very much maintain their stature as man of the house while engaging in very nurturing and protecting activities. It’s all in the execution.

Elder daughter did not sleep well on Friday night. She woke up frequently and said that she didn’t feel good. Very early in the a.m. on Saturday I got up to check on her when she was whining and she complained that her leg hurt. I figured one of her various rambunctiously gained bruises was deep, offered Tylenol, she accepted, and we both went back to sleep.

Got out of bed several hours later when the sun was up. Played with daughter for a bit and she then asked for an egg sandwich. She was running and laughing and acting normally. I assumed that whatever was bothering her the previous night was over. As I was frying bacon, she walked into the kitchen and puked on the floor. My assumption was apparently wrong.

Her mood and energy quickly declined and when Penelope got up a short time later, she found me and daughter in the bathroom with me holding back daughter’s hair as she vomited, college style. I ate a quick breakfast and loaded elder daughter in the car for a trip to the doctor.

Despite this domestic god routine, I gained, instead of lost, points.

The key for the married father is to act decisively. When daughter got sick, I didn’t wake up Penelope and ask befuddled questions about, “What do I do?” I simply acted. When I realized that the sickness wasn’t going to quickly abate of its own volition, I acted. No questions, no confused looks, just action.

Married fathers are always at risk of betaization. Despite proclamations to the contrary, the slide is usually not at the direction of the wife, but from the husband’s own lack of direction. He vacates authority over myriad decisions because he’s the Man and such decisions purportedly aren’t his domain.

Being man of the house doesn’t entail sacrificing all good-sense and decisiveness at the front door or trading it for a meal and a cocktail. It entails maintaining good-sense and decisiveness and trading those behaviors for a tingly wife. A married man, as opposed to a married boy, is General of his family. Generals make decisions, they are plugged into the challenges the service is facing, they aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty.

At the end of the day, when both kids were asleep and Penelope and I were finished digesting dinner, I walked up behind Penelope and rubbed her shoulders. I had plans. I didn’t ask if she was interested in my plans, I merely asked where those plans would be carried out. We retired to the bedroom as we’ve been exploring the full breadth of the Lovenasium lately and the bedroom hasn’t seen much action in a few weeks. (I’m really not ready for the elder daughter to learn how doorknobs work. I’m going to have to update my style so it cannot be cramped.) We fucked well and started to drift off to sleep. Before my eyes closed for good, Penelope said, “Thanks for being such a good daddy.”

To the untrained ear or the man who has no experience with parenting, that sounds really weak. But when you’re lounging in post-coital rest after a day of directing the troops, it’s really a high compliment. Enjoy it as such. The betaized bitch never gets told he’s a good daddy. He gets nagged for not folding clothes after he got home from the doctor. And that’s really not fair. He left his balls at the doctor’s office, or grocery store or playground, months ago; the poor eunuch could use some sympathy.