may i feel said he
E.E. Cummings wasn’t afraid to write about sex. He was most likely an alpha, if for no other reasons, by virtue of being a veteran with fame and money. Nevertheless, his poem ”may i feel said he” is not alpha. Too much “may i” and not enough “i am.” Furthermore, he abdicates authority to the woman in the relationship. Not only is the man deferring to her, she’s not even his wife. Divorce laws were not quite as punishing (or available) in Cummings’ heyday, but this is just asking for trouble from myriad directions.
may i feel said he
(i’ll squeal said she
just once said he)
it’s fun said she(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she(let’s go said he
not too far said she
what’s too far said he
where you are said shemay i stay said he
which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said shemay i move said he
is it love said she)
if you’re willing said he
(but you’re killing said shebut it’s life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she(tiptop said he
don’t stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you’re divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)
In honor of Blue Ball Awareness Week and greeting card and flowers day, I’m going to rework this Cummings classic to make it more masculine.
may i feel said he
(i’ll squeal said she
that’s the point said he)
it’s fun said she(i’m going to touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she(let’s go said he
not too far said she
there’s no such thing said he
you are right said shei’m going to stay
which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said shei’m going to knock it out said he
is it love said she)
sure, sure said he
(but you’re killing said shebut it’s life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she(tiptop said he
don’t stop said she
oh, oh, oh! said he)
go slow said she(i’m sleepy said he
ummm said she)
you’re divine!said she
(you are Mine said he)
Good natured ribbing about the supplicant male in this poem aside, I actually really dig Cummings. He is an excellent resource for mental game. He loved fucking and makes it readily apparent in much of his writing. Also, despite the complicated visual presentations and punctuation, he’s direct. He doesn’t beat around the bush, he beats down the bush. If he isn’t your cup of tea, then check out other poets and authors. Read widely. Digest. Sharpen your mental and inner game. Avoid blue balls and make commercial holidays your bitch. You won’t regret it.
I’ve never read cummings, but I like this. I disagree about him not being alpha here. Alphas whose dominance is already established can get away with feigning gentleness and it becomes a very compelling thing to women. I think he’s developing the game played between the lover and his coy mistress. Isn’t it understood that he can do whatever he wants with her, that she will submit to him, but she is having fun feigning resistance and he is having fun breaking through it?
I think she shows in the first stanza that she recognizes the game and encourages him to keep playing (it’s fun). Her submission is already established right here. She likes to submit to him this way. Anti-slut defense right? She doesn’t LBJF him. He gets the f close. Great stuff.
Excellent counterpoints. I’m a faithful dude, so I’m not really sure how the game is played when it comes to mistresses. Having said that, what really motivated me to play with this poem is the final line: “you are Mine said she.” So even though he established his alpha cred early and before starting the banter with his coy mistress, over the course of the romp he loses his upper hand. If he’s going to stray, I think he needs to be careful with letting the mistress build up too much confidence in her hold on him. I’m sure that’s the mindset of most mistresses, but something about the capitalized “Mine” makes me think the mistress is correct about that assertion.
Oh yeah, cummings is the king of letter case. I hadn’t noticed that at first. Interesting how he chose “divine!” for his superlative and then “Mine” for hers. Very appropriate to each’s psychology.
Of course she can call this Alpha “Mine.” He is, if only for a time.
My use of the phrase coy mistress, while appropriate, was an allusion to Andrew Marvell’s “To His Coy Mistress” If you want to see classic beta supplication, read that poem. Sickening.
Flahute – What’s wrong with vegetable love that can wait thousands of years, but isn’t above begging for it now? Are you saying begging isn’t alpha? What about that song “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg”? That was a bunch of dudes singing in falsetto voices, right?
In all seriousness, your point about the man being hers, if only for a time, is solid. This is one reason why poetry can help sharpen inner game – framing. Reframing is an individual endeavor; one cannot get by on other’s tactics verbatim. Or something like that. I’m not just grasping at straws b/c you poked a few holes in a post that I wrote mainly to feed the blog. I’m never wrong.
Don’t get me wrong. My goal was not to argue, poke holes, or debate small details. This poem is fantastic. You just put e. e. cummings on my reading list. I thank you for writing this post and I found your rewrite entertaining. I have bookmarked your blog, and I find it wonderful that a writer like yourself is examining romantic poetry in the context of Game.
Poetry is a curious and wondrous thing. How do you celebrate women or express desire for them in verse without putting them on a pedestal? I think only artists can achieve this because they remain above the pedestal on which they put women. The status of their art elevates them above the women they celebrate.
Have you read Pablo Neruda? In life, he was truly an alpha, was desired by many women, who commanded great political influence and wrote great romantic poetry. If you know some Spanish and read the bilingual translations, you will understand him even better. So beautiful.
No worries. I appreciated your take. I wanted to start integrating stuff like this in, but I wasn’t completely happy with this post. The problem with blogging is there is no editor. I’m discovering you sometimes have to hit “publish” and hope someone comes along in the comments section that helps you sharpen your work.
I have read Pablo Neruda, but not in a while. Think my wife has a copy of his 100 Love Sonnets in the bookshelf. Will have to go back to it. My dad is a masculine hunter, outdoorsman, firewood splitting type and he had a copy of that one in his bookshelf too. Thanks for the tip!
it disgusts me what you have done to this amazing poem to make it more “masculine”
I’m going to assume that a Google search lead you here and you haven’t read anything else I’ve posted about Cummings. I’m also going to assume, safely, that you have an impaired sense of humor. That’s okay. Cummings certainly never had fun with his poetry.
yes you are correct on those things,
but what was your objective in this such humourous version of the poem?
im not trying to be a troll but all this is is sexist
which cummings certainly never was, at least visibly in his poetry.
My blog is a contrarian take, often humorous, on politics, modern masculinity, and sexual relations with a few booze reviews and cocktail recipes thrown in. I was just flipping the poem around from the girl catching the guy to the guy catching the girl so as to amuse myself. I am not seeking to divine Cummings’ innermost thoughts or motivations. As to sexism, I’m a sexist in that I don’t think men and women are the same save for their genitals, so that comes out. On the flip side, I’ve also suggested uber male Walt Whitman as an example of how to seduce and approach life. There’s one post I did, I’m on my phone and don’t feel like linking so you’ll have to search, on “Liberal and Lusty as Nature” and a series on “I sing the body electric.”
Here you go: http://hiddenleaves.wordpress.com/?s=I+sing+the+body+electric
fair enough,
the reason i posted was because it just sounded like you were insinuating that’s how a man would act in that situation, and that being very masculine means you don’t respect women, some men obviously yes but i am currently in the situation this poem is describing and i certainly do not feel those things.
but i hadn’t read your other stuff so i wasn’t aware what your blog is about.
as far as the sexist thing, i believe men and women are different by nature as well, but aren’t bound to what society says is normal.
it’s probably safe to say most men aren’t all macho , just that the macho ones happen to be the loudest.